Oh boy. This is one of the single hardest yet most important things we can learn and practice. You practice it with your children, you practice it with your spouse, you practice it with people you interact with, and even people you work with. Correction and confrontation are unavoidable and important in life, and therefore, being able to correct and confront in the right way is a skill we all benefit from. It's something that's absolutely vital in any relationship. Without correction, we can harm our connection with each other, and without confrontation, we might not know what we were doing that is harmful.
When correcting and confronting, it is absolutely critical that we keep the end goal in mind. It is crucial that we know what "correction" and "confrontation" are supposed to be, and what they are not supposed to be. The purpose of correction and confrontation should ALWAYS be to make the connection between people better and stronger. The goal of genuine correction and confrontation is to FIX the problem. Not attack somebody. When used incorrectly, so called "correction" and "confrontation" can be two of the most destructive forces to a relationship. Ask any parent and child or husband and wife. We MUST remember that the goal of correction and confrontation is always to restore and build up the relationship, without throwing love for the other person out the window.
Correction: How is it done at its best?
Perhaps the biggest tool in proper correction is KNOWING the person you're correcting. If you're a parent, KNOW YOUR CHILD. If you're a boss, KNOW YOUR EMPLOYEE. Due to the fact that all people are starkly different, we all need to be corrected in different ways. Think about what would happen if a parent corrected all their children in the same exact way! There would be a lot of serious damage done to the family. Some children are very sensitive and tender, and they only require a hint of reproof before they're crying in body or in spirit or both! Some children are more fiery-spirited and sure-of-themselves, and they might need a more potent method of correction to get them back on the road. If you're a parent, I encourage you to get to know your children and what form of correction they respond best to. Correcting your children in different ways is not "unfair" or something. It's simply knowing how your children work and how they receive correction best. Some kids might be ok with a firm-handed approach. Some children might totally wither under the firm-handed approach and require only a simple remark of instruction like, "Oh, honey, let's not do that because that might hurt you." Some children might be fine with both approaches as long as you accompany your correction with affirmation.
Confrontation: How is it done at it's best?
When confronting someone about something, it is CRITICAL that the person knows you love them no matter what. People become defensive during confrontation if they feel that they are not loved. It's critical to maintain a loving spirit when you point out something that's bothering you to someone. When I'm being confronted or corrected, it REALLY helps me when people use a method called "The Hero Sandwich." Haha. (I think Danny Silk has a teaching on it.) "The Hero Sandwich" is when you start off your confrontation by telling someone that he or she is very good and awesome. (That's the first slice of bread.) That let's the person know that he or she is still valuable to you, even though you have an issue. Then, you give them you're grievance and explain to them what they are doing that bothers you. (That's the meat of the sandwich.) Then, to close it all off, you reassure the person once again that he or she is good and that he or she is still valuable to you. (That's the final slice of bread.) I personally, always receive confrontation and correction much better when it is done in this way. I'm assuming it works for some other people too. But I also know that "The Hero Sandwich" isn't the best method for some people. So once again, it's important to KNOW the person you're confronting.
When correcting and confronting, it is absolutely critical that we keep the end goal in mind. It is crucial that we know what "correction" and "confrontation" are supposed to be, and what they are not supposed to be. The purpose of correction and confrontation should ALWAYS be to make the connection between people better and stronger. The goal of genuine correction and confrontation is to FIX the problem. Not attack somebody. When used incorrectly, so called "correction" and "confrontation" can be two of the most destructive forces to a relationship. Ask any parent and child or husband and wife. We MUST remember that the goal of correction and confrontation is always to restore and build up the relationship, without throwing love for the other person out the window.
Correction: How is it done at its best?
Perhaps the biggest tool in proper correction is KNOWING the person you're correcting. If you're a parent, KNOW YOUR CHILD. If you're a boss, KNOW YOUR EMPLOYEE. Due to the fact that all people are starkly different, we all need to be corrected in different ways. Think about what would happen if a parent corrected all their children in the same exact way! There would be a lot of serious damage done to the family. Some children are very sensitive and tender, and they only require a hint of reproof before they're crying in body or in spirit or both! Some children are more fiery-spirited and sure-of-themselves, and they might need a more potent method of correction to get them back on the road. If you're a parent, I encourage you to get to know your children and what form of correction they respond best to. Correcting your children in different ways is not "unfair" or something. It's simply knowing how your children work and how they receive correction best. Some kids might be ok with a firm-handed approach. Some children might totally wither under the firm-handed approach and require only a simple remark of instruction like, "Oh, honey, let's not do that because that might hurt you." Some children might be fine with both approaches as long as you accompany your correction with affirmation.
Confrontation: How is it done at it's best?
When confronting someone about something, it is CRITICAL that the person knows you love them no matter what. People become defensive during confrontation if they feel that they are not loved. It's critical to maintain a loving spirit when you point out something that's bothering you to someone. When I'm being confronted or corrected, it REALLY helps me when people use a method called "The Hero Sandwich." Haha. (I think Danny Silk has a teaching on it.) "The Hero Sandwich" is when you start off your confrontation by telling someone that he or she is very good and awesome. (That's the first slice of bread.) That let's the person know that he or she is still valuable to you, even though you have an issue. Then, you give them you're grievance and explain to them what they are doing that bothers you. (That's the meat of the sandwich.) Then, to close it all off, you reassure the person once again that he or she is good and that he or she is still valuable to you. (That's the final slice of bread.) I personally, always receive confrontation and correction much better when it is done in this way. I'm assuming it works for some other people too. But I also know that "The Hero Sandwich" isn't the best method for some people. So once again, it's important to KNOW the person you're confronting.
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