If you're an unmarried individual, have you ever wondered if it is healthier to get married when you're younger or when you're older? And if you're a married individual, have you ever wondered what it would have been like to get married younger or older than you did? Those questions seem pretty simple on the surface, but when you start to think about it, it really becomes more complex than you imagined before you started turning the gears of your mind. Haha. Let me further explain those questions by defining what I mean by "younger" and "older." I think of getting married "younger" as getting married when you're 18 (or younger) to 21 years old. I think of getting married "older" as getting married when you're about 25 to 30 (or older.) The range of 22 to 24 is what I consider to be about the "normal" age that people get married.
My views on a lot of subjects are kind of heretical, and this issue is no exception. So if you disagree or think this is just a crazy nineteen-year-old's opinion, feel free to discard it. I'm just wanting to share my thoughts. I think both getting married young and getting married old have benefits, and it really depends on your situation which one is better for you. I know people who got married young, and I know people who got married old, and they both seem to be doing great. I'm not saying getting married younger or older is better. I'm just going to list one benefit of getting married young in this post. There are pros to getting married older as well.
One of the main benefits of getting married young is that you don't have to struggle with your sex drive as long. If you get married at 18 instead of 25, that's 7 years of intense struggle that you've avoided. You've just shaved off 7 years of fighting and battling and trying to control yourself while you're not married. I mean, let's face it people. Your sex drive is a beast that you try to tame for years and years while you wait to get married. I'd like to submit to you the idea that maybe God didn't intend for us to fight that battle as long as we do. Maybe sometimes getting married sooner is healthier for us. The problem is, the American social structure of today makes it very hard to get married young. To get married you have to have this thing called MONEY. You can't just grow your own food and build a log cabin in today's world. The entire country is run on this thing called money. And to get this thing called money, you and your partner have to go through YEARS of training before you can make enough to support yourselves. First, you have to go through your 12 year education. Then after you graduate high school, guess what? You have to do more school called "college" for FOUR MORE YEARS to get something called a degree, because without a degree the world makes it very hard to get a job that pays well enough for you and your partner to live independently. So that's 16 years of school total before it's easy to get married. And by the way, college takes thousands of dollars to attend. So guess what, unless your parents saved you a college fund or you get yourself a scholarship, you have to work for EVEN MORE time to get that money. Or take a student loan and go into debt. Your choice. And this is the main reason that people get married as late as 25 to 30. Social structure tries to make you jump through its hoops and systems for years before it finally says, "Ok, now we'll pay you enough to support yourself and your spouse."
In 1 Corinthians Chapter 7:8-9 (NIV), Paul tells the church of Corinth that "it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (Another translation says, "marriage is far better than a continual battle with lust.") Yet, we have created a society that attempts to force you to "burn with passion" for YEARS AND YEARS before it enables you to get married. In my opinion, that structure needs to change.
To sum up, I've only discussed one benefit, but I definitely think there are several benefits to getting married young. Even if it requires spouses breaking tradition and getting married while they're in college and humbling themselves enough to live with their parents or in a cheapo apartment for a while.
My views on a lot of subjects are kind of heretical, and this issue is no exception. So if you disagree or think this is just a crazy nineteen-year-old's opinion, feel free to discard it. I'm just wanting to share my thoughts. I think both getting married young and getting married old have benefits, and it really depends on your situation which one is better for you. I know people who got married young, and I know people who got married old, and they both seem to be doing great. I'm not saying getting married younger or older is better. I'm just going to list one benefit of getting married young in this post. There are pros to getting married older as well.
One of the main benefits of getting married young is that you don't have to struggle with your sex drive as long. If you get married at 18 instead of 25, that's 7 years of intense struggle that you've avoided. You've just shaved off 7 years of fighting and battling and trying to control yourself while you're not married. I mean, let's face it people. Your sex drive is a beast that you try to tame for years and years while you wait to get married. I'd like to submit to you the idea that maybe God didn't intend for us to fight that battle as long as we do. Maybe sometimes getting married sooner is healthier for us. The problem is, the American social structure of today makes it very hard to get married young. To get married you have to have this thing called MONEY. You can't just grow your own food and build a log cabin in today's world. The entire country is run on this thing called money. And to get this thing called money, you and your partner have to go through YEARS of training before you can make enough to support yourselves. First, you have to go through your 12 year education. Then after you graduate high school, guess what? You have to do more school called "college" for FOUR MORE YEARS to get something called a degree, because without a degree the world makes it very hard to get a job that pays well enough for you and your partner to live independently. So that's 16 years of school total before it's easy to get married. And by the way, college takes thousands of dollars to attend. So guess what, unless your parents saved you a college fund or you get yourself a scholarship, you have to work for EVEN MORE time to get that money. Or take a student loan and go into debt. Your choice. And this is the main reason that people get married as late as 25 to 30. Social structure tries to make you jump through its hoops and systems for years before it finally says, "Ok, now we'll pay you enough to support yourself and your spouse."
In 1 Corinthians Chapter 7:8-9 (NIV), Paul tells the church of Corinth that "it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (Another translation says, "marriage is far better than a continual battle with lust.") Yet, we have created a society that attempts to force you to "burn with passion" for YEARS AND YEARS before it enables you to get married. In my opinion, that structure needs to change.
To sum up, I've only discussed one benefit, but I definitely think there are several benefits to getting married young. Even if it requires spouses breaking tradition and getting married while they're in college and humbling themselves enough to live with their parents or in a cheapo apartment for a while.
I think one can date a person he or she is attracted to and not be burning with desire. It's all the fooling around at the end of the date, that causes the burning. Could also be caused reading too many steamy romances or watching porn, even just being pressured by a media culture that puts so much emphasis on sexual relationships! If one is dating like that- he or she may be in misery and end up marrying quickly, e.g., marrying someone they hardly know and are basically leaving to chance whether they are compatible. Hopefully, young and old people are dating in platonic ways, truly getting to know (not in the Biblical sense) each other. Spending time skating, biking, eating out, going to ball games and other public places. Spending time finding out if they truly want to be with each other even if they could never have sex! In this way, one can find out if they have the same values, beliefs and interests! Public or chaperoned dates can help (unlike, sitting on the couch watching a video) Yes, these activities cost money which gives young men an incentive for working. Preparing them for taking care of a spouse one day. Since one sees divorce in those who marry "young" and when "older", I think the length of time they got to know each other platonically rather than age is the correlating factor. How many years did Jacob have to wait to marry Rachel? If one can see themselves waiting 7 years before having a physical relationship, that person has found the right person to spend the rest of their life with in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteExcellent points. I actually believe there are several problems with the "Dating" system, but I do totally agree with you that one should get to know his or her partner very well throughout a long period of time before getting married. I just prefer an approach I like to call "courtship" instead of dating. (I did a post about it a while ago if you would like to find out more.) I also totally agree with you that the important, quality time a couple spends together before they get married plays a larger role in a successful marriage than what age they are when they tie the knot. And once again, you made a very accurate point when you pointed out that the physical side of a relationship shouldn't be the sole reason to get married. I totally agree. All I was attempting to do with this post was point out one small benefit of getting married sooner rather than later for couples that already know each other very well and aren't jumping into marriage rashly, based solely on physical attraction.
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