Respect, respect, respect. It's what keeps relationships open and healthy. It's what steps in during a heated discussion and says, "you know what, I may disagree with what you're saying, or I may just not be interested in the subject you're talking about, but I value YOU and what your opinion is, so I'm going to attentively listen to you and pour my effort into understanding you." Whenever you're in the middle of a disagreement with someone, I encourage you to learn to hit the pause button and remember the value of the person you're talking to. Remember that you love them and that they are walking the path of life just like you are. When you remember someones value and see things from their perspective, it enables you to understand that they're not crazy or foolish. They're searching for Truth just like you are. And you both may come to different conclusions about what the truth is or see things from a different viewpoint, but that doesn't mean attentiveness and respect should go out the window. Respect and Love should never go out the window. It is always more important to respect someone and maintain healthy connection with them than it is to be right.
One of the main ways that disconnect can occur is when the relationship between people is based on agreement. Agreement is a poor foundation for friendship. The infrastructure of a relationship should never be agreement. Why? Because you are going to disagree with the people you are close to! You're relationship can't come to a grinding halt if you disagree. We have to learn to keep moving forward in our relationships even when agreement is not present. You ARE going to disagree with your friends, your spouse, your children, your parents, and your *fill in the blank.* No two people agree on everything all the time! So it's vital that agreement is not the foundation of relationship in your mind. When it is, as soon as you have a difference of opinion with someone, you start trying to MAKE someone share your opinion because in your mind, that is essential for the relationship to live. I have news for you. A "relationship" that cannot exist without agreement is called a business contract. Not a relationship.
A contract says: "For our relationship to work, you must have the opinion that I want you to and we must agree on everything in order for our relationship to flow smoothly. If at any point we disagree about something, we have to stop and come to an agreement or I will not continue to pursue connection with you."
A relationship says: "You have a right to your own opinion. You don't have to share mine for me to like and love you, and I value what you say even when I disagree with you. I love you because you are you; not because you share my view. I will continue to work on our relationship even when we disagree."
The world has more than enough contracts. Let us learn to grow in relationship through the art of respect.
One of the main ways that disconnect can occur is when the relationship between people is based on agreement. Agreement is a poor foundation for friendship. The infrastructure of a relationship should never be agreement. Why? Because you are going to disagree with the people you are close to! You're relationship can't come to a grinding halt if you disagree. We have to learn to keep moving forward in our relationships even when agreement is not present. You ARE going to disagree with your friends, your spouse, your children, your parents, and your *fill in the blank.* No two people agree on everything all the time! So it's vital that agreement is not the foundation of relationship in your mind. When it is, as soon as you have a difference of opinion with someone, you start trying to MAKE someone share your opinion because in your mind, that is essential for the relationship to live. I have news for you. A "relationship" that cannot exist without agreement is called a business contract. Not a relationship.
A contract says: "For our relationship to work, you must have the opinion that I want you to and we must agree on everything in order for our relationship to flow smoothly. If at any point we disagree about something, we have to stop and come to an agreement or I will not continue to pursue connection with you."
A relationship says: "You have a right to your own opinion. You don't have to share mine for me to like and love you, and I value what you say even when I disagree with you. I love you because you are you; not because you share my view. I will continue to work on our relationship even when we disagree."
The world has more than enough contracts. Let us learn to grow in relationship through the art of respect.
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