We've all heard the phrase, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." That phrase holds true for many situations in life. However, God has been revealing to me that there are also many situations where that saying does not apply and, in fact, can cause harm. You see, when it comes to financial investment and business schemes, "Having your fingers in a lot of pies" is a good idea! Equally distributed investment is a good idea when it comes to money. However, since people are not money, I've really begun to question equally distributed investment when it comes to relationships. Let me explain what I mean:
Communicating Value:
As most people would agree, 100% of your time, money, and energy is being invested into something 100% of the time. In that sense, nobody ever "wastes" their time. We're always investing into something, even if that something is the wrong thing. It's impossible for humans to cease investing for even one millisecond of their life, because we are designed as investors, and the level of investment that an area receives from you indicates the value of that area to you. With that in mind, consider what would happen if you invested your time, energy, and effort equally into every relationship you had. What message would that convey?
If you invested your resources (time, effort, money, etc) equally into every relationship you had, because your level of investment reveals your level of care, that would send the message that every relationship you have is of equal importance to you and not one is dearer to your heart than any other. And you might not see a problem with that at first glance. After all, isn't favoritism a bad thing?! But think about what message equally distributed investment communicates to the recipients of your investment. To the people who aren't close you, the ones who don't consider you dear to their heart, your investment in them would be seen as outstandingly generous!...But to the people who are close to you, the ones you hold in high esteem, your investment in them would seem heartbreakingly shallow, because it is nothing more than you give every other human under the sun. You see, people are really like plants, and often we go through life fertilizing plants that aren't in our yard to such an extent that the plants in our yard lack the nutrition they were made for. If you plant someone in your yard, it's very important that you show that person a higher care than you show other plants.
See, what we often don't realize is that our actions are always communicating value. And if we're pouring equal investment into every friendship we have, we're communicating value to people who don't want it, and we're communicating a lack of care to the ones who yearn for it. And this is why it's important to understand the rings of intimacy we have in our lives. Because, as Danny Silk would say, if we begin pouring equal attention into everybody in our life in the name of equality and anti-favoritism, we're badly damaging the inner relationships that we have. Saying that you love everyone equally may sound caring, but it's just a nice way of saying there's nobody special to you in the whole world.
When people don't understand this concept, marriages fall apart, families struggle, and intimate friendships are strained, because nobody knows how to communicate "I value you more" to the dearest relationships they have.
DISCLAIMER: Everyone Should Be Shown Love!
Now, I want to be very clear that I AM NOT saying we should only show kindness to people who are close to us! That would cause a whole new set of problems! I am not saying we should disregard people who don't know us intimately. In fact, it is absolutely critical that we love all people we come into contact with, regardless of how close they are to us. From the person holding a cardboard sign by the stoplight, to the school friend you haven't talked to in years, to the people who know your heart deeply, every level of relationship in your life deserves love. All that I'm saying is we should get our priorities straight when it comes to our levels of investment in people. Our investment carries power. Power to hurt and power to build. Our intimate relationships will suffer from pangs of malnutrition when we show the same level of investment to our dearest friends that we show to people we barely know. In summary, we, as Children of God, should invest into all people we come into contact with, but our level of investment should vary depending on the level of the relationship.
Sources:
https://loplifeacademy.com/
Communicating Value:
As most people would agree, 100% of your time, money, and energy is being invested into something 100% of the time. In that sense, nobody ever "wastes" their time. We're always investing into something, even if that something is the wrong thing. It's impossible for humans to cease investing for even one millisecond of their life, because we are designed as investors, and the level of investment that an area receives from you indicates the value of that area to you. With that in mind, consider what would happen if you invested your time, energy, and effort equally into every relationship you had. What message would that convey?
See, what we often don't realize is that our actions are always communicating value. And if we're pouring equal investment into every friendship we have, we're communicating value to people who don't want it, and we're communicating a lack of care to the ones who yearn for it. And this is why it's important to understand the rings of intimacy we have in our lives. Because, as Danny Silk would say, if we begin pouring equal attention into everybody in our life in the name of equality and anti-favoritism, we're badly damaging the inner relationships that we have. Saying that you love everyone equally may sound caring, but it's just a nice way of saying there's nobody special to you in the whole world.
When people don't understand this concept, marriages fall apart, families struggle, and intimate friendships are strained, because nobody knows how to communicate "I value you more" to the dearest relationships they have.
DISCLAIMER: Everyone Should Be Shown Love!
Now, I want to be very clear that I AM NOT saying we should only show kindness to people who are close to us! That would cause a whole new set of problems! I am not saying we should disregard people who don't know us intimately. In fact, it is absolutely critical that we love all people we come into contact with, regardless of how close they are to us. From the person holding a cardboard sign by the stoplight, to the school friend you haven't talked to in years, to the people who know your heart deeply, every level of relationship in your life deserves love. All that I'm saying is we should get our priorities straight when it comes to our levels of investment in people. Our investment carries power. Power to hurt and power to build. Our intimate relationships will suffer from pangs of malnutrition when we show the same level of investment to our dearest friends that we show to people we barely know. In summary, we, as Children of God, should invest into all people we come into contact with, but our level of investment should vary depending on the level of the relationship.Sources:
https://loplifeacademy.com/
This is a topic that has affected our family. The sad thing is we have just gotten used to it more than anything. This is so true I think I really enjoyed this Silk teaching the most it put into words many of the issues with this topic that people sense when they have a relationship with someone like this. The truth is Jesus Christ had 12 people that were set apart and of that 12 there were really 3 even closer.
ReplyDeleteSee you soon!