Masturbation

Masturbation is possibly the most avoided conversational topic within mainstream Christianity today. The lack of teaching and information given to lovers of Jesus about this topic has pretty much left the waters of personal and moral conviction muddy with uncertainty. Most Christians simply don't know if masturbation is right or not. We're largely unsure of God's Heart regarding sexuality in general, but masturbation specifically. Because of this, most Christians are hesitant to either endorse or condemn masturbation as right or wrong. When presented with the question, "Is masturbation bad?," Christians will probably respond with ambiguity, behaving similarly the elves of Tolkien's imagination who often, when asked a question, "...answer both yes and no." Yet, despite the silence and confusion surrounding it, masturbation is one of the most prevalent issues in humanity today. Don't believe me? Humor me a moment while I give you some statistics that might shock you.


Statistics:

According to "the Free Sex Podcast," a podcast recorded from a Christian perspective and released on August 24th of 2015, the percentage of Adults who admittedly masturbate are: 94% of men and 85% of women. (If you're like me, you didn't even know women could masturbate at all. However it's completely possible and popular for women to achieve orgasm without the use of a vibrator or anything other than their own body.) According to the same source, 72% of married men masturbate, and 68% of married women masturbate. According to the same source, 61% of married Christian men masturbate, but only 13% of the 61% thought that it was "normal." According to the same source, "At any given moment, there are 797,151 Americans--just Americans--masturbating. Which, by the way, is larger than the entire population of Alaska." (FSP Epsde. #12).

I would venture to say those numbers and percentages shock you. Since masturbation is rarely talked about, it's generally perceived as less common than it really is. I'm a firm believer that young followers of Jesus need to know where they stand on this issue, as well as any other issue typically avoided by mainstream Christianity. So, is masturbation wrong? Is it right? Though scripture portrays very clear wisdom on all other areas of life regarding sexuality, it doesn't mention masturbation one time. (Moral Rev. p. 98). However, scripture heavily talks about lust. Jesus made it very clear during His physical time on this Earth that lusting after a woman in your mind is the same as committing adultery in the flesh. (And for ladies, that same principle can be applied to fantasizing about a man who is not your husband.) So the real question is, "Is it possible to masturbate without lusting?"

The Spirit of God Within Us:

This is the point where Christians disagree. Some say with vehemence that it is absolutely impossible for anyone to masturbate without lusting and creating inappropriate fantasies in his or her mind. Others say that it's impossible for men, but possible for women. Still others say that it's completely possible to stimulate your own genitals, without fantasizing about anyone else's. Still others say that it's possible to masturbate without lusting, but that self-pleasing often leads to inappropriate action later. When it comes right down to it, people are all different, and each person has to learn their own bodily limitations and temptations, while listening to the voice and counsel of God in their life. God's heart is written on yours. Unlike many people throughout history before the cross, who had rules written on stones, we actually have the unveiled law and character of God inscribed onto our very soul. Listen to Him.

What's the Point?

You might wonder why the question of masturbation is even a question. Why would Christians even consider doing it? What's to be gained? What's the danger of it? Those are excellent questions. I'll do my best to answer them by listing some benefits and dangers.

Potential Pros of Masturbation:

1. If masturbation is morally ethical, one benefit of practicing it would be that unmarried singles would have a release for their sex drive that didn't involve lust. Because of the structure of today's society, marriage is difficult to achieve before the twenties. Since puberty hits at about 12 or 13, this means that children will likely struggle for at least a decade with their sex drive, without any morally-correct satisfaction or release. As sad as this is, it is nonetheless the structure of society. Teenagers who love Jesus are practically set up for sexual failure by societal structure. Masturbation is potentially the only moral coping mechanism for the insatiable drive of teens during their probable decade before marriage. If you believe masturbation is wrong, my question to you would be, "What is your alternative solution to satisfy the libido of teenagers who are set up to go 10 years after adolescence without sex?"

2. Regular orgasms also have various health benefits for men and women, which makes sense if you believe God designed the human body to have sex. Orgasms cause a boost in immunity and relaxation, while also helping you sleep. Orgasms can also relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension for women, because the uterus contracts and pulses, leading to a relief in pain. According to Harvard Medical School Study, regular release of sperm lowers the risk of prostate cancer for men over 50. (FSP Epsde #13).

Potential Cons of Masturbation:

1. Masturbation for singles can potentially lead to temptation in areas that are undoubtedly harmful, such as pornography and steamy fantasies.

2. Masturbation can also lead to problems for married couples. If a wife is taking care of herself, by herself, she is relying on her own self to satisfy the hole that her husband is designed to fill--literally, but also figuratively. Conversely, if a married man is satisfying his sexual desire using masturbation, when his wife comes to him to satisfy her need for physical intimacy, it's possible that he won't be as able to serve her, simply because he relied on himself earlier in the day rather than on her to bring him sexual gratification. When married, relying on solitary masturbation to satisfy your drive can lead to all sorts of marital dysfunction and conflict if you don't openly discuss it with your spouse.

So in the end, is masturbation beneficial or immoral for you as a Child of God, married or single? The genuine answer to that question can only be given to you by your loving Father, who knows every hair on your head. To accept an absolute answer to that question from anyone but your Creator would be dangerous. There are some questions that God alone is qualified to answer with finality, and to unconditionally accept complete counsel from any other source would be foolish. I'll end with a quote from J.R.R. Tolkien:

"Advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill."

Sources:

• The Fellowship of the Ring chap. 3
• The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Extended Edition)
• The Free Sex Podcast Episode #12-13
• Moral Revolution Podcast 09/21/18
• Moral Revolution p. 98
• Anatomy of Marriage Podcast
• The Free Sex Podcast