If a nineteen-year-old young man came up to you and told you that he's going to get married before the year is out, what would your reaction be? If a young woman in college were to tell you she's engaged to be married before she gets her degree, what would your face say?
For many of us, the answer to both questions is that we would certainly respond with surprise, and possibly, depending on how well we know the person, with dutiful dissuasion. But is this really our job? In fact, when it comes right down to it, is it even a good thing to encourage young people to postpone marriage into the late twenties?
Society today has a very specific formula to be followed for individuals who wish to get married. First comes the completion of High School and the acquisition of a GED or equivalent. Then comes the search for a field and the pursuit of a four-year college degree or一though less smiled upon一a vocational school education. Next comes the entrance of the now socially-labeled "mature" adult into the workplace of his or her choice. Finally, after all these steps have been taken, culture labels an individual ready for marriage.
But what if this formula isn't
actually ideal?
What if marriage in the mid-to-late twenties wasn't what God had in mind?
Young people who don't wish to follow this model are often seen as suicidals who need to be talked back from the edge of a thirty-story building with a megaphone. Youths who wish to get married young are often portrayed as unprepared for the realities of marriage, starstruck with the honeymoonies, or suffering from outright delusion. But what if youthful marriage isn't always a skinny dip into the freezing waters of debt, unpreparedness, and poverty? What if the choice to marry young can actually be a good, informed decision with several benefits?
One might wonder what the benefits of getting married young
are. What does youthful matrimony afford that marriage in the twenties does
not?
What's the Appeal?
Survey:
To answer this question, I recently conducted a survey of
four couples who got married in their late teens or early twenties. Each couple
was presented with the same question:
"What is/are the biggest benefit(s) you've had from
getting married young?"
Their unedited responses are as
follows:
(Parallels Highlighted)
Couple 1:
"I
think most people see marriage at a young age with both pros and cons. With the
cons list being longer than the pros.
When I was a month out from my
wedding and was neck deep in wedding planning I had several people sit me down
and ask me if I was sure. Now mind you, not my parents, not my family, and not
my close friends. Acquaintances that were only asking with my “best interest at
heart”. They would tell me how I would regret not being able to “live my life”
and “do what I want” if I decided to marry young. I was lectured about kids and
to make sure I waited at least 10 years because then “I would know if I wanted
to divorce him or not.”. I don’t hold any ill will towards these people because
I think our culture has stigmatized couples who marry young. I think it’s a
mind set that needs to break. Let me tell you why I made the decision to marry
my love as young as I was and why I never regretted it for one moment: My
husband and I were together for 5 years when we finally got married. God told
me when I was just 13 years old that he was going to be the man I would marry
and when people questioned me, my reply was always “Hey! When you know, you
know.” But what I meant by that was “Hey! When God tells you he’s the one, you
know.” See, I never had any doubt in my mind that the decision I was making was
ordained by God but I also tried understanding why other people didn’t see it
that way and didn’t see the benefits I was seeing of getting married as young
as I did.
I think the biggest benefits of getting married young break down into two
categories. Number one being practical and number two being emotional.
A few practical reasons for getting married young include:
Housing! Instead of living in separate houses for years while we were engaged,
we lived together and saved ultimately thousands of dollars by having just one
house/rent payment.
Cars: When we both worked full time we didn’t both need cars. Since we lived
together, we were able to share a car and not have to make an extra car
payment.
Finances: Because we were both young we were able to
make our crucial financial decisions that every young person makes in their
early twenties together. We made good decisions and poor ones but ultimately we
thrived because we had the other to hold us accountable.
And here are a few emotional benefits I saw when we decided to get married
young: (excuse me while I hold the tears in)
Family: Right now our small family consists of each other, a dog, some hamsters
and a couple geckos but as we plan to grow our family with children in the
future, we realize more and more how amazing it was to have years to be able to
just be together before that decision because there was no rush that we would
be getting “too old”. When that dream finally comes to fruition, we will still
be young (If it’s in God’s will) with no pressure of age.
Ministry: Because of God and his perfect will and
timing, we were able to walk in the calling God laid out for our lives as a
team after being married for just two years. I had just turned 20 when God
called my husband (and ultimately me) into full time youth ministry. We get to
be faithful for longer because God brought us together so early on in our
lives.
Love: I wanted a fall wedding but the truth was I knew I couldn’t wait another
day to be with him. So we had a beautiful summer wedding and started off our
life together the same year that I graduated from high school. We have learned
so much about each other and communication and what TRUE love looks like
(because trust me it doesn’t look like princess gowns and suits everyday. It
looks like the nitty gritty of life but when you do it together and hold each
other up during the hard times) and I can’t wait to see where we are in the
future. You see that’s just it.. I won’t even
be 30 before we’ve been married for 10 years. I found him early on, and because
of God and his perfect plan, I get to love him a little longer. And
as for not getting to do what I want to do because of a young marriage, I would
take cuddling up to my husband, petting my dog, while wearing pajamas and
watching a cartoon, any day over being in a bar all night with strangers or
sharing my body with multiple people to make sure that I was getting what I
wanted as people would often tell both my husband and I we would miss out on.
You see I do get to make my own choices because I’m my own person. It just so
happens, I make them with my best friend in mind."
Couple 2:
"If we had waited longer, we would have both had double the responsibility for as long as we weren't married and wouldn't have been able to devote that time to more useful things. Such as furtherance of gods kingdom, building a family at a young age, etc. Sam also adds whoever finds a wife finds a good thing. And also tells me to marry younger so they don't fall into temptations of the world."
Couple 3:
"Yeah sure thing man! me and
clarah talked about it and this was our answer.
The best benefit of getting married young is that
we are growing up together. We got
married when we were 19 so we were still kids. And in a lot of people's eyes,
we still are haha. But we get to grow and get to learn life together and we have each other to lean on."
Couple 4:
"1. You have someone to stand by and
support you through all of life’s trials. Navigating
all the changes that come in your early twenties can be really challenging.
Having somebody to help carry the load makes it so much easier.
2. You get to grow up together. So much
growing happens in your late teens/early twenties. Ryan and I have grown and
developed a lot in the last few years, and it’s just so cool getting to see
that and experience it together.
3. There are financial benefits! If you are in
college, and still under the age of 25, you are considered a dependent and may
not qualify for certain scholarships and grants due to your parents’ income.
When you get married, you are automatically considered independent and are
likely to qualify for more.
4. It’s easier to establish a routine. We live 40 minutes away from each other
and, with all the time spent driving back and forth, it can be really difficult
to have any sort of routine. When you’re married, you don’t have all that back
and forth because you’re both at the same place all the time.
5. You get to experience more years together.
Life is short and someone can pass in an instant. So many people want to wait
until they have every detail figured out before they get married, but at the
end of our lives we knew that all that would matter is all those years we got
to spend together because we chose not to take the culturally acceptable route
and wait."
The Unmarried Male Perspective:
From the unmarried perspective, getting married also comes with benefits in the realm of sexuality. As an unmarried male, I can directly address these in detail.
In 1st Corinthians Chapter 7, Paul addresses both the married and the unmarried concerning sexual relations. To the unmarried, he explicitly states that, though it is good to remain unmarried, "It is better to marry than to burn with passion."
If believers truly took this advice to heart, they should have no issue with people getting married young. If we truly wish to help young people deal with their sexual drives in a healthy way, we cannot say that getting married young is always a bad idea.
In today's world, by postponing marriage into the twenties, we've created an environment inhospitable to God's original design for sexuality, which positions young people for sexual intimacy far before their late twenties. Might I suggest to you that one of the reasons we're seeing sexual dysfunction within the Church's young populous is because we are creating a world that goes directly against Paul's advice, a world where young people are discouraged from getting married until long after they "burn with passion."
We are profoundly delusional if we expect young believers to somehow avoid reoccurring sexual struggle from the time of puberty (approximately 13-years-old) until they reach their mid-to-late twenties. By expecting young people to simply live without any form of sexual activity for this prolonged period of time, we are setting them up for moral failure and ensuring years of moral struggle. We are placing them close the fire rather than urging them into the arms of a fireproof union. Paul roles over in his grave to see this generation of young believers attempting to spend an entire decade of their lives resisting their God-given sexual urges rather than embracing marriage as the intended outlet for their passions.
I am not suggesting that marriage removes sexual temptation from the equation, but that it changes the struggle for sexual uprightness from an impossible battle of suppression into a winnable battle of appropriate expression. I would argue that it is more difficult for one to go without sexual intimacy entirely than it is for one to stay loyal to one sexual partner.
In the same way that Jesus was willing and able to endure
the cross for the joy set before Him (Hebrews 12:2), young men and women are better
able to endure sexual struggle when they have a treasure to protect. As an
unmarried male, I can personally attest that the times in my life when I have
treasured the heart of a woman are the times that I have been able to walk most
uprightly in the realm of sexuality.
One of my favorite authors paints a beautiful picture illustrating this
principle. If a man dying of thirst in the dessert came across a bowl of toilet
water, he'd be likely to drink it. Regardless of its unclean nature, due to his
desperate situation, it would appeal to him. But if a man living in safety and
comfort were presented with a bowl of toilet water, he would turn it down
without hesitation or reservation in favor of pure water. Those individuals who
have the tasteful water of sexual intimacy within the context of marriage will
be less likely than their unmarried peers to seek out the toilet water of
sexual immorality to quench their thirst. The desert of singleness does not
provide any healthy relief options when it comes to sexual drive and instead
offers only the stagnant and polluted waters of masturbation, pornography, and
hook-up culture. The oasis of marriage offers true satisfaction to human sexual
desire. When young people have no opportunity for the refreshing water of married sex, they are more likely to consume unhealthy water when it
is presented to them in their arid situation.
To lose the innuendo, a man and woman locked in an embrace of naked affection are less likely to look over one another's shoulder in search of sexual satisfaction from some other source.
It is difficult for sexual dysfunction to find a foothold where healthy sexuality makes its home. Conversely, it is very easy for sexual dysfunction to find a way into the life of he who has no treasure to protect and no woman to be loyal to. As Paul also points out in 1st Corinthians Chapter 7, sexual dysfunction is invited by the absence of healthy sex.
Therefore, pursuing the healthy option of married sex is a
perfectly reasonable course for young people. This is not to say that marriage
should be entered solely to satisfy sexual desire, but that getting the high
ground on temptation is an undeniable benefit of getting married young.
Reasons I've Heard Not to Get Married Young:
Now that the benefits of getting married young have been detailed, I am going to address seven common arguments against youthful marriage and give several reasons that getting married young should not be expelled from consideration and practice.
1. (The Maturity Argument) "You're not ready."
Of all the arguments against youthful matrimony, this one has the potential to make the most sense. However, the common reasoning behind its use does not. It's often suggested that youths are not ready for marriage because they are not capable of being mature enough to embrace the inevitable responsibilities and challenges that marriage entails.
This is not the case.
Many years ago, there was once a young boy named David Farragut who served in the US Navy aboard the frigate Essex, under the captainship of David Porter. Unlike the other crewman, young Farragut had the privilege of calling Porter, not only his captain, but his Father. Porter had befriended and adopted Farragut at a young age, and they served alongside one another in the War of 1812. Their ship captured so many British vessels that young Farragut was put in charge of a prize ship at only 12-years-old, and given the title "prize master," the officer responsible for captured ships, before he had even entered his teen years. (https://www.history.com/topics/american-civil-war/david-farragut)
My point?
Youths, with the guidance and wisdom of a knowledgeable mentor, are capable of so much more than we think. To quote one speaker, "The modern notion of adolescence, the one that rules our society today, expects young people to be immature and irresponsible...That is the myth of adolescence" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_iZ9Jvupv4).
Now, am I saying that, because one boy in the 1800s was capable of bearing the responsibility of a crew, that all 17-year-olds are capable of handling the challenges of marriage? No. In fact, today, they're often not. And therein lies the element of truth for this argument against young marriage. A lot of times, teenagers are not ready to get married. But young adults are also capable of much more than we assign them. Just because society says that it's impossible for a 17-year-old to shoulder the weight of marriage does not make it so. If we expect nothing of teenagers, they will meet our expectations. If we believe them capable of great things, they are capable of great things (Do Hard Things, Harris & Harris). Even the Mother of Jesus is believed to have married and given birth at a very young age. If God believed Mary capable of marriage and childbirth during her teen years, who is to say that youthful marriage is an undesirable road for other young people to travel. Many believers today seem to have forgotten that, when it came to the rearing and raising of his ageless presence in human form, the Creator chose a young woman, not an established businesswoman approaching thirty, to be his Mother and the Wife of his earthly Father (https://www.truthortradition.com/articles/mary-a-teenage-bride-and-mother).
2. (The Financial Argument) "You need to wait until you're financially independent."
This argument is an echo of a foundational american philsophy that一I would argue一is flawed. As I've written and spoken about in many other places, independence should not be a supreme value in our life. As humans, we are designed to be interdependent on one another, relying on each other, needing each other, and giving to each other. When the goal of a married couple becomes financial separation from family, I believe we're missing out on the fundamental principle of integrated, multigenerational living.
Consciously or unconsciously, believers in recent years have reinforced the American value of hyperindependence as it relates to marriage by citing Genesis 2:24 as evidence that a man and woman who wish to be married should be financially capable of supporting themselves. It's a widely held belief within mainstream Christianity that married individuals should not live with their parents, and instead should develop their own livelihoods and estates, completely independent from Mom and Dad.
While this philosophy no doubt originated from a noble desire to protect parents from children who might prove unwilling to contribute and has doubtless served its purpose in shielding parents from those offspring who would choose to be a leech on their parents' pocketbook rather than a blessing, I would argue that the stereotypical "Leave and Cleave" philosophy has done more harm than good.
Now, am I saying that young people should be financially unprepared when they get married? No. But I am saying that living under the same roof as your parents is not irresponsible, combining incomes with parents is not being a leech, and being involved in family affairs as a couple is not being clingy.
Moving out has not always been considered a prerequisite for marriage. Dr. Dan Allendar, Professor of Counseling Psychology and founder of the Allender Center, points out in an interview that leaving father and mother and cleaving to wife does not primarily mean geographic or financial separation from parents. He asserts that, in ancient times, "families lived together and their agricultural work was all bound together." (https://www.instagram.com/tv/CGvO1pPAxmu/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link) Allender argues that the phrase, "a man must leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife," refers primarily to an emotional separation necessary for the development of a healthy marriage bond, a process by which a person's utmost place of priority is transferred from caregiver to life partner.
To use the phrase, "Leave and Cleave" to support the idea that children should leave the home after marriage is to misinterpret a scriptural passage referring to the bonding process between man and wife.
The reality is that, rather than value the expansion of multigenerational homes一homes housing grandparents, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren一americans in recent years have opted for the convenience of micro-families. Families could be developing into dynasties with each marital union, growing in strength with each new birth, but instead we're choosing to financially start over with each generation, booting children from the house to start from scratch the second they're married. Marriages are seen, not as a gain for the tribe, but as a cue for familial and geographic division. In this respect, modern marriages are more akin to familial divorces than expansive unions (familyteams.com).
But maybe this isn't the way. Maybe by moving out of their childhood home and starting from the ground floor一just as their parents did一married couples are shooting, not only themselves, but their family in the foot. After all, once a family has successfully raised and produced a child who is now married, why should it evict a member who is now capable of contributing to family matters more than ever before through additional income and member expansion? By keeping its married children in the vicinity, a family is capable of exponentially growing in relational and material prosperity, if it's members, both married and unmarried, are willing to contribute and work as a team.
And, with reference to my first point, young married people are completely capable of being contributors.
3. (The Stability Argument) "You need to get your career going first."
There are two reasons that this argument is used to dissuade people from getting married young. The first reason is that concerned parents, who wish to protect their children from experiencing the financial instability and hardship of early marriage; which, with reference to my last point, is brought on by generational financial resets; often urge their children to develop stable careers before tying the knot. By this reasoning, marriage in the late twenties is often the earliest possible opportunity. The second reason, one of a more sinister nature, is that culture values material success above relational wealth.
To those who would encourage young people to postpone marriage out of a concern for their financial wellbeing, I would simply say this. Should it not be feasible for a young married couple to rely on the integral support of either in-laws for housing, it cannot be denied that getting married before entering a season of financial prosperity comes with challenges. Hard ones. However, every life decision comes with difficulties. Getting married young is simply to choose the difficulties of tight finances over the difficulties of remaining unmarried. This choice, I believe, is a sound one.
To those who would encourage young people to postpone marriage simply because they believe climbing the hierarchical status ladders of society is more important than pursuing marriage, I would say that a more serious evaluation of values is called for.
Marriage is the most successful thing you can do with your
life, firstly because there is no place where a deeper impression can be made
into the soul of another person, and secondly because it is the place where the
deepest form of service and love is possible. Jesus demonstrates this principle
beautifully to us in coming to Earth, not to acquire material wealth, but to
give His all for his Bride (Revelation 19:7).
4. (The Individualistic Argument) "You won't be able to have fun anymore."
Firstly, this argument incorrectly assumes that married life is not capable of producing more fun than the single life. There are couples who, based on their own poor marital experience, take the position that marriage is a miserable situation. These couples often seem to think that the problem with marriage lies in the institution itself rather than their approach to it, and take every opportunity to absolve themselves of personal responsibility for the nuptial mess of their life, suggesting to young ears that it's better to seize the fun of detached singleness than to choose the rewarding road of marriage. Such sad people are like the imprudent crew of a wrecked ship, who, after setting sail with leaky vessel, poor direction, little savvy, and no guidance, shout back to the docks that men are not meant to sail on the water.
This is not to say that marriage is smooth sailing, but that it is possible and joyous when done correctly.
For reasons I've discussed elsewhere, modern society encourages the individual to live his best life above all else; to have fun whatever the cost. This idea stands in bold opposition to the message of Jesus, which unyieldingly encourages individuals to sacrifice, serve, and exist with others, regardless of the personal limitation that entails. One author sums up the message of Jesus beautifully in this way: "You have a life, so you can invest it in other people" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FNq0rI99V4). In Emmanuel一God with us一we see a man who chose to give up his life in every possible way in order to preserve connection.
The life of Jesus did not consist of "living it up" in the nearest city to Nazareth, nor did it consist of being carried to the top of society by the crowds that often followed him. Instead, he chose to live a life radically connected to God and his people.
Jesus' message of community and restored connection is in direct opposition to the philosophy of modern culture, which states that the happiness of the isolated individual should always come first. Jesus said, "Greater love has no man than this: that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). Yet according to one speaker, we live in a culture where we are eagerly careful to lay down our friends for our life (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9kVElwfOhE). Despite any protestations or denials that we might make, our furtive attempts to achieve personal gratification at any cost indicate our belief that having fun is more important than building lasting relationships.
Those who encourage the young to
postpone marriage on the basis that they will no longer be able to have fun are
firstly assuming that marriage is a bore, and secondly assuming that personal
enjoyment is more valuable than lasting relationship (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP5APNjF_rs).
5. (The Uniformity Argument) "What about your college experience?"
Matt and Abby Howard are a couple from the Springfield, MO area. They chose to get married while still in college, and, like so many other young couples who make the decision to tie the knot without a degree, they were repeatedly counseled before their wedding to "have [their] college experience first." While maintaining a fondness for these voices in their lives and respectfully appreciating the intention behind this advice, Mrs. Howard counters this argument against young marriage beautifully with a simple question, "Who's to say that everyone's college experience looks the same?"
Those who advise young people to postpone marriage in favor
of what they refer to as a "college experience" are really saying,
"You should do what I did." This perspective reflects a disturbing
level of universal uniformity that not only flies in the face of individuality
but throws progress to the winds. If every student recreates the same college
experience for the rest of history, a better way is never discovered. What if
marriage during college is a better way for many? What if the presence of a
life partner during the formational years of undergraduate work is worth the
absence of a partying lifestyle? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyPdlX92sIM&t=52s)
6. (The Singleness Argument) "Don't you want to enjoy your season of singleness?"
It is a commonly held viewpoint within mainstream
Christianity that young people should enjoy their season of singleness. While
this thought originates from a desire to help people enjoy their life and be
content with each season, as a culture, we've presented singleness in such a
warm light that we've lulled Gen Z into a level of comfort with their life that
is preventing them from moving towards what most of them are intended for:
Marriage.
Our misrepresentation of the single season flows from the fact that we have
misconstrued its nature and purpose. The purpose of the season of singleness is
not what we have made it out to be as a time of "fun." Contrary to
the message of mainstream Christianity today, singleness is not a time of self-indulgence
and self-contentedness, coasting through life without care, responsibility, or
thought about marriage. Ideally, it should be a time of preparation for
marriage, where those within its tributary spend their time developing
themselves into relational beings and healthy spouses. It is during this time
of transformation and growth that we are designed to experience the panging
hunger for intimacy necessary to reveal to us our need for a lifelong partner.
For all people excluding those with a supernatural charisma for remaining
alone, singleness should not be comfortable. Singleness should be a
season responded to rapidly and steadily, not prolonged as period of personal
enjoyment. Those couples who employ the use of the Singleness Argument to suggest to
others that singleness is preferable to marriage should look to the hearth of
their own relationship and examine the warmth of the love that rests there.
Singleness is providentially designed to be uncomfortable
for a reason. It is a time of dissatisfaction so that young people are incentivized
to pursue that which they are intended for rather than settling for the shallow
comforts of romantic stagnation, ice-cream, Netflix, masturbation, and video
games. Singleness is supposed to be a thorny seat that reveals to the
individual his or her God-given inclination for marriage. Singleness should be
the prod that gets young people up off their couches and prompts them to make
something of themselves, so that they might have something to offer the heart
of another person as a partner capable and willing to serve a spouse as Christ
served the Church.
If we want our teenagers to get up off their butts, why don't we give them a reason to? Why don't we give them a target again instead of making singleness an elongated destination vacation? What if marriage was that target for wandering youthful minds? Not a target that is distant and blurry一one we urge them not to strike until their late twenties一but one that is visceral and near? What if a lasting, precious covenant marriage was something that young people actually strived to develop character for again, not as an aloof 'maybe one day' fancy, but as a goal within their reach? Don't you think we would start seeing better character in the younger generation that way? I do. Why don't we stop making the season of singleness so comfortable for young people and vehemently encouraging them to stay there so long that they are not motivated or inspired to seek the covenant bond that God intended them to pursue.
Believers should look at singleness and marriage in much the same way that C.S. Lewis looked at "this world" and "another world" respectively in the following quote (bracket statements mine):
"Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world [singleness] can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world [covenant marriage]."
7. (The Procrastination Argument) "Why get married now when you can later?"
In short, the answer to this question is that getting married young is desirable because it enables you to spend more time with your spouse. In one of her posts, blogger Mary Kate Robertson describes her experience of being married young as an opportunity to grow together, rather than separate, and points out that her parents, who married at 32 and 39, wish they would've gotten married younger. While acknowledging that getting married young also comes with challenges, her article beautifully illustrates that getting married young enables individuals to spend more years of their finite lives together, rather than separate (http://thelittleduckwife.com/2017/07/what-its-like-getting-married-young/). In other words, the couple who marries at 18 will likely enjoy more years together than the couple who marries at 27-29, which is the national average for women and men respectively (the-cost-of-delayed-marriage). Getting married young also places less time pressure on couples who wish to have children, allowing them more joyous years without children together before menopausal pressure begins to arise. Getting married young also decreases the likelihood that a child will be born outside the protective walls of a wedlock (the-cost-of-delayed-marriage).
The fact of the matter is that every minute of your adult life that you wait to marry is a minute of your life that you are not sharing with your life partner. While some might be content with this arrangement, I would argue that those who would rather spend as much of their life as possible with their mate are perfectly within reason and soundness of value to do so.
In fact, I would be quicker to question the relational health of individuals who encourage postponing marriage than I would be to question the connection of those who wish to spend more of their lives together, simply because couples who have poor connection are not likely to spur others towards marriage, whereas couples with a healthy connection are, demonstrating to watching eyes which relationship is to be envied.
At best, the Procrastination Argument prevents young people
from rushing into rash decisions. At worst, it perpetuates the already
widespread idea that marriage is not a joyous way to spend your life and should
be postponed for as long as society dictates.
Conclusion:
For one reason or another, each of these arguments have the
common thread of urging young people to be "ready" before tying the
knot. And while this concern is valid and I do not wish to diminish the
importance of preparation, I believe there is also an element of truth to the
argument that one can never be wholly ready for marriage, and that a better
question for young people might be, "Are you willing to embrace the
challenges that youthful marriage entails for the sake of one another and the
benefits that getting married young offers?"
When I read the gospel, observing Jesus' emphasis on trust; when I examine my
own life, reflecting on the many times I've had to step out in faith like
Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade; when I look back into
history, recalling the many times unprepared people have flourished
in meager situations, I don't see a God who requires mastery of one level
before entrance into another. Instead, I see a God who designed humanity to
learn while out-of-our-depth.
Perhaps it is through the act of faith displayed by young
hearts stepping into lifelong covenant that a truly unique place of growth is
made possible.
Sources:
1. https://biblehub.com/niv/1_corinthians/7.htm
2. https://biblehub.com/esv/hebrews/12.htm
3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xf22ke_pOl8&t=211s
4. https://www.history.com/topics/american-civil-war/david-farragut
5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_iZ9Jvupv4
6. https://spiritandtruthonline.org/mary-a-teenage-bride-and-mother/?tot=redirect
7. https://biblehub.com/kjv/genesis/2.htm
8. https://www.instagram.com/tv/CGvO1pPAxmu/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
9. https://familyteams.com/
10. https://biblehub.com/bsb/revelation/19.htm
11.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FNq0rI99V4
12. https://biblehub.com/bsb/john/15.htm
13. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9kVElwfOhE
14. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP5APNjF_rs
15. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyPdlX92sIM&t=52s
16. http://thelittleduckwife.com/2017/07/what-its-like-getting-married-young/
17. https://firstthings.org/the-cost-of-delayed-marriage/
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