Restoring Rapport

There is an idea that has slipped into the heart of man. It says that if you love anything other than God with all your heart, you're making an "idol" of that thing. There is so much wrong with that idea that I don't know where to begin. So often, people feel like they have to "give up" everything and crush every desire of their heart, counting all that they yearn for as rubbish, in order to follow Jesus and prioritize God. That idea couldn't be more false and harmful. I'd like to submit to you the idea that God is actually the one who put desires and yearnings in your heart to begin with, and He has no desire for you to throw them out the window. Prioritizing God does NOT mean minimizing or degrading your wants. You are not making idols out of your passions by valuing them! God created things in this life for you to ENJOY, and it's not selfish of you to embrace the beautiful pleasures He's given you. Because God loves you, He implanted des...

"For what use is it to gain all the wealth and power of this world, with everything it could offer you, at the cost of your own life?" -TPT. As I grow older, I'm learning that we, as friends of Jesus, take many of His words and unintentionally use them to support an idea that was not behind their original intent. Mark 8:36 can be used in many different ways to support many different beliefs. In the past, it has been used to support the idea that man must "take up his cross" and "follow Jesus," denying the desires of his heart and taking the "hard path" in order to go to "heaven." I'm going to not only rebut that interpretation, but give you a new one with a quite opposite message. If you read Mark chapter 8, in verse 34, Jesus does, at first glance, appear to be telling His followers to "deny themselves," surrender all the desires of their heart, and follow the order of the monk in a continuous state of self-denial...

There's a huge subject of debate in christian circles (and even secular psychology circles) about whether mankind is good or evil by nature. Is mankind a good being that's just capable of being corrupted? Or is mankind evil by nature and incapable of yearning for good? This question is really a lot harder to answer than you would think. In this post, I'm just going to give you some things to think about when it comes to the nature of man. (When I say "man" or "mankind" in this post, I'm referring to humanity, both man and woman. Not just men.) Most people come to one of two conclusions regarding the nature of man: 1. Man is created in the image of God, and therefore good by nature. Mankind is drawn to good and he doesn't have a sin nature. 2. Man is born with an inbred "sin nature" that causes man to gravitate toward sin, harm, and separation from what is good. I would like to submit to you the idea that instead of having a ...

Dear male-supremacist, I have some things that I want you to consider. Forgive me if I seem too harsh in this letter to you, whoever you are. Forgive me if I seem hateful or unforgiving to my own sex. But you see, I have a sister, and a Mother, and a future wife and daughter, so this issue concerns me closely and dearly. I will not see them trampled, purposefully or inadvertently, by your belief. And because you would see them as uncompliant and rebellious if they spoke up for themselves, I will do it for them. You see, I've seen a mindset, a sickness, that has crept into your beliefs and it occasionally rises to the surface in your conversations and actions. Whether you intentionally or unintentionally allowed this to happen matters not. All that matters is that this sickness is harming you, and more importantly, the women in your life. What is the sickness you ask? What is this half-invisible belief that hides within the walls of your heart, only making itself known in subtle, ...

Something that's really puzzling me right now is how love can be determined and relentless, yet also be gentle and un-forceful. Those things seem to counter each other, but God somehow loves in both of those ways at the same time! So it is possible! Think about it. God relentlessly pursues, He chases us to the ends of the earth. He never stops loving and pursuing us. We sing songs about His "Reckless Love" for us and how He "won't relent" until he has our whole heart. He's completely unconditional in his pursuit of us. Yet He also never, ever forces us to accept Him. Nor does He make us feel pressure to do so! He never demands affection in return for the affection He gives. No matter how badly He wants connection with us, He never forces us to connect with Him, because forcefulness is not in His nature. How does He do it? And how do we, as His children do it? How does God find that balance of being totally relentless (reckless even) in His pursuit of hum...

In this post I'm going to do something new. I had an idea to simply list tons of questions that can help us determine what we believe yes, but more importantly, WHY we believe it. There won't be any paragraphs in this post. It'll just be 21 questions that will hopefully tear down some tradition and cause your mind to stop and think about why you believe what you do. It is vitally important to know WHY you believe things, instead of just knowing WHAT you believe. It's also very important to question ideas and traditions that have been handed to you instead of blindly accepting them as Truth. God loves it when you question things, no matter how unorthodox it seems. So here we go! I hope these questions help you ask yourself WHY you believe what you do. What do you believe worship is? Do you believe God is always kind towards His children? Do you believe you are under the ten commandments? Do you believe Jesus' Blood has taken away the sin of the world, or do yo...

You've probably heard the phrase "God is in control." In fact, after "Jesus loves you", it's one of the most used phrases in christian circles. Today, I want to submit to you the idea that "God is in control" can actually be a harmful statement, depending on how you define "control" and the context you use it in. I believe it's always really important that we understand the character of God and how he operates in the lives of His children. God is never forceful, and He never takes the free will of mankind. So, to say and/or believe that "God is in control" when it comes to the harmful decisions of mankind (murder, rape, violence, etc.) is a problem in your thinking. Even if your intention in saying "God is in control" is to comfort a family who lost a loved one, it's still a very harmful statement. Why? Because it implies that part of God's "plan" involved the death of their loved one. Let me spea...

Respect, respect, respect. It's what keeps relationships open and healthy. It's what steps in during a heated discussion and says, "you know what, I may disagree with what you're saying, or I may just not be interested in the subject you're talking about, but I value YOU and what your opinion is, so I'm going to attentively listen to you and pour my effort into understanding you." Whenever you're in the middle of a disagreement with someone, I encourage you to learn to hit the pause button and remember the value of the person you're talking to. Remember that you love them and that they are walking the path of life just like you are. When you remember someones value and see things from their perspective, it enables you to understand that they're not crazy or foolish. They're searching for Truth just like you are. And you both may come to different conclusions about what the truth is or see things from a different viewpoint, but that doesn...

Ever wondered how and why Love Languages work or how to figure out which Love Language you have? It's really simple. The entire goal of Love Languages and the reason why they work so well is because they make people feel valued. So ask yourself what makes you feel valued, and what makes those close to you feel valued? All five Love Languages really accomplish the same goal. Each language uses a different means of getting to the end goal, but they all achieve the same purpose:  making someone feel valued. Just in case you haven't heard of the five Love Languages or you've forgotten what they are, I'll list them here: Words of Affirmation (Encouraging or affirming comments that: build up the receiver, make the receiver feel good about his or herself, and reassure the receiver that the giver has a high opinion of him or her. "Words of Affirmation" people feel valued when someone audibly praises them in an honest way.) Quality Time (Time that is invested into...

My Mother recently asked me the question, "Seth, would you let your daughter wear ____?" This question really cause me to do some serious thinking. It made me realize that modesty is an unavoidable issue in life and we all have to decide what is best for us and our present or future children. In this post, I'm pretty much going to give you my standards and opinions when it comes to modesty and explain why and where I've drawn the lines that I have. And I still don't know what I think about some outfits, but hopefully this post will give you something to chew on and think about. However, I don't consider my opinion to be foolproof. What I think is a little immodest might be considered OK to you or vice-versa. And that's alright. I'm not trying to impose my views of modesty onto you. I just wanted to share some thoughts of mine on the subject. First, let's try to define exactly what types of things are immodest. My Mom has recently told me that ...

In this post, I'm going to explain the difference between "expectancy" and "expectation." One exists within healthy relationship, and the other kills healthy relationship. "Expectancy" is the good one. It's the natural result of good relationship. Think about how you look forward to seeing your friends and visiting with them simply because they're your friends. There's a joyful "expectancy" and excitement that exists within the friendship. It's like a kind of happy anticipation. "Expectation" on the other hand, is something that kills good relationship. "Expectation" is when you begin placing standards on other people and expecting them to meet your requirements. And while that may sound very easy to identify and avoid, expectations have a way of slipping into our relationships without us realizing. We often don't realize we've put a standard over someone until they fail to meet that standard. Let m...

You've all heard it. Most of you have said it. "Church isn't a building." We think we understand in our minds that the Church is the Body of Jesus and not a building. We say the temple of the Holy Spirit is us and not the building we meet in. We say Church is an action and not a location. Yet despite all this, sometimes we still fall into the trap of thinking a building is the Church. Don't believe me? Let me ask you some questions. How many of you have heard people shout to children who were running in a church building: "NO RUNNING. Don't you know this is God's house?" WRONG. A church building is not God's house there's nothing more sacred about your steeple-crowned building than the meth lab across the street. We say we understand that "Church" is God's people and not a building or a business. But our actions speak differently. Still don't believe me? Let me ask you some more questions. How many of you think tha...

Oh boy. This is one of the single hardest yet most important things we can learn and practice. You practice it with your children, you practice it with your spouse, you practice it with people you interact with, and even people you work with. Correction and confrontation are unavoidable and important in life, and therefore, being able to correct and confront in the right way is a skill we all benefit from. It's something that's absolutely vital in any relationship. Without correction, we can harm our connection with each other, and without confrontation, we might not know what we were doing that is harmful. When correcting and confronting, it is absolutely critical that we keep the end goal in mind. It is crucial that we know what "correction" and "confrontation" are supposed to be, and what they are not supposed to be. The purpose of correction and confrontation should ALWAYS be to make the connection between people better and stronger. The goal of genuine...

What exactly is worship? That's a question that's been quite hard for me to understand for several years. In this post, as always, I definitely don't claim to have a perfect grasp of what I'm discussing. Worship is something that I've been trying to understand for a while, and I still have a lot of holes in my understanding of it. So take everything I say with an understanding of that. I believe one reason that it's hard for me to mentally understand worship is that it's hard to understand with the head. It's really more of a heart action I think. Choosing to express thankfulness, communion, and love for God and especially with Him. Worship isn't JUST a feeling that you get when you're worshipping your Creator either. Like so many other things in life, it's a choice to worship your Creator that then causes the feeling. The feeling is the reward of the choice. I'm not saying that we should make the choice to worship God JUST to get the f...

If you're an unmarried individual, have you ever wondered if it is healthier to get married when you're younger or when you're older? And if you're a married individual, have you ever wondered what it would have been like to get married younger or older than you did? Those questions seem pretty simple on the surface, but when you start to think about it, it really becomes more complex than you imagined before you started turning the gears of your mind. Haha. Let me further explain those questions by defining what I mean by "younger" and "older." I think of getting married "younger" as getting married when you're 18 (or younger) to 21 years old. I think of getting married "older" as getting married when you're about 25 to 30 (or older.) The range of 22 to 24 is what I consider to be about the "normal" age that people get married. My views on a lot of subjects are kind of heretical, and this issue is no exception...

In this post I'm going to come against a thought that I've struggled with a lot. If you've ever felt like your giftings and desires don't really count as "ministry", then I hope this helps you. Sometimes, I've felt like I'm not ministering to God's children simply because none of the traditional ideas of "ministry" resonate with my heart. I believe there is this thought in the christian community that suggests that only certain activities count as ministry. If you're passions align with those activities, congratulations! Everyone considers you to be doing God's work! If you sing for church, preach, teach Sunday school, feed the hungry, minister to drug addicts, run a VBS, or go overseas on a missions trip, you're doing what everyone thinks of as "ministry." And if you're passions don't fit into any of those categories, then you better pick one anyway, because that's what ministry is! Right?.........Well I...

Something I've noticed, about the Christian community in particular, is that we've dubbed certain subjects "holy" and other subjects "unholy." It's like we think it's our job to decide what's good and what's evil. (Haha.) And what makes it really interesting is the fact that, everybody decides different things are "holy" and "unholy." One follower of Jesus says that playing cards is of the devil, the other says it's fine. One christian says raffle tickets are gambling, another says they're supporting a cause, even if they don't win the boat. And I understand that everyone should have their own opinion and decide what is wise for them. I'm totally for that! I think it's absolutely imperative that we, as followers of Jesus, work through what we believe about certain things and decide what is wise for us. My problem is when we start saying that the thing itself (whatever "the thing" may be) is ev...

In this post, I'm going to point out a way of thinking that I believe has slipped into the mind of humanity. It's this idea that the "mind" should trump the "heart" (or vice-versa) in any decision making process. Some people believe emotion is better than intellect, others believe intellect is better. I believe both of those ideas are completely false. I don't believe the head is better than the heart, OR that the heart is better than the head. I would like to submit to you the idea that both emotion and intellect are equally important, and that both play vital roles in making you function as the human you were made to be. Emotion isn't better than logic, and logic isn't better than emotion. Without one or the other, we would be half the people we are designed to be. As always, feel free to verbalize your agreement or disagreement in an open way. The Head/Intellect/Mind: As I said just now, there is nothing wrong with the head. It's an am...

In this post, as always, no pressure to agree with what I say. It might help you and clarify a lot and it might not. I hope it's at least thought-provoking for you. If you are for "Dating", or for "Courting", or against them both, I encourage you to think hard and listen to the voice of the Spirit regarding this subject. In this post, I'm simply going to explain what I believe "Dating" and "Courting" are, and list some problems that I have with the former. Ideology #1: Dating When I hear the word "Dating", here's what comes to my mind. A boy or girl (often quite young) has a "crush" on somebody, so they "ask that person out." They go to see a movie or out to eat or something. Sometimes they are middle-schoolers who don't even have enough money and can't drive, so they just say they're "dating" without actually going out on a date. (Haha.) Other times, even when it comes to hi...

In this post, as always, I'm just going to give my experience and opinion. My experience is not necessarily truth, and I'm sure many people have had a much different experience with "altar calls" than I have. However, I am also just as certain that many other people have had my same experience (or at least a similar one) with "altar calls," so I'm really writing to them as my primary audience. Feel free to ignore this post if you don't fit in that audience. The term "Altar Call" really first began to gain popularity in 1830s. So it's a fairly recent invention. But it's become an irremovable tradition in many church institutions today. It's been known by many different names. In his anti-revivalist tract (1843), theologian John Williamson Nevin called it the "anxious bench." It's also been known to some as "hitting the sawdust trail." Charles Finney is credited with inventing "the anxious seat,"...